There was a woman who knew my in and out and she is on sabbatical now. There are two now in her place, my daughter and daughter in law. They know accurately the climate change in my mind, so precisely, the former by hearing my voice on phone and the latter by watching my face. These two know exactly how many trains run in my mental metro station, in what direction and in what frequency.

‘Appa, what troubles you?’
‘Nothing, Megh’
‘Ok. Lie down for sometime’
‘But pray why? I’m fit like a fiddle’
‘You are. That is why you should lie down for five minutes’

‘Konthai, your voice is shaking. What is happening?’ -Aparna.
‘Voice will shake. Voice will break. Voice will crack. I’m not twenty years old’

‘See, my guess was accurate. Relax. You are not the guardian of the world. Things will move and there are others to push. Relax’

‘Why should I ? I can run like a bullet train’
‘You can, I know. The iPad is in your hand, is it not?’
‘Nothing is in my hand. Nothing. Everything has gone away from my hand’
‘Ok, you are not going to India’

That works. She is her mother’s daughter. Knows which screw to tight’

I quietly go to my bed, like an obedient baby, sleep for two hours, get up fresh, when Megh waits with a hot, hot cup of coffee and some snacks.

‘I’m not hungry, Meghana’
‘You are. Just eat two pieces’
I eat five!